Our Predictions for 2018!

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2017 was a fantastic year!

But the team at Defacto Dentists are really looking forward to seeing what 2018 holds for us all. We’ve a lot of exciting plans for the year ahead so stay tuned to make sure you’re the first to know about what’s going on.

To ease us back in after the holiday season, we’ve put together some things we predict will happen in 2018…

 

January

  • Melania Trump divorces Donald because he is shockingly bad at golf and pays people so that they will let him win.
  • Danny Dyer becomes Lord of Walford on the 17th.

 February

  • All UK businesses will roll out 4 week Pawternity leave for all new pet owners.
  • There will be a world Spaghetti Shortage and the Italians will riot for 3 weeks.
  • During the winter Olympics in South Korea, the ski jump is cancelled and all participants will participate in a snowball fight instead.

March

  • Barack Obama will drop his first studio album ‘White House, Weed and Women’ featuring the likes of Snoop ‘Doggy’ Dogg, Lil Wayne and Post Malone.
  • An assassination attempt of Theresa May is foiled.

defacto, predictions, 2018, funny, spoof

 

April

  • Richard Branson dies age 67 in a spaceship accident. The business world crumbles because he was so ‘edgy’ and ‘cool’. Madonna executes an outstanding performance of ‘Like a Virgin’ at his funeral.
  • It will become illegal to eat oranges/tangerines/clementines/satsumas and other related orange citrus fruits while on public transport as it shows lack of consideration for those who don’t want to have an orange-scented commute.

defacto, predictions, 2018, funny, spoof

 

May

  • Manchester City will win the European cup on the 26th of May.
  • The Queen will pass away and  leave a tell all memoir about her life. We will all discover that the entire royal family are actually reptilian overlords. 

June

  • Boris Johnson becomes PM after Theresa May’s sudden resignation.
  • Anna Wintour will announce that Crocs will be the summer’s hottest wardrobe must have and she will subsequently be dismissed from Vogue.

defacto, predictions, 2018, funny, spoof

 

July

  • We predict that Theresa May will rep the iconic Britney Spears’ baldy after her resignation. David Cameron crawls out of the woodwork and makes a viral YouTube video called ‘leave Theresa May alone’.
  • Cliff Richard relaunches his career and hits the number 1 spot with a song called ‘catch me if you can’.

August

  • America lands on the moon and Donald Trump announces he is going to build a golf course there.
  • We predict that Donald Trump will be assassinated.

September

  • Files on Marilyn Monroe will be declassified and it will be uncovered that John F. Kennedy ordered her to be killed.
  • Everyone will finally stop caring about Taylor Swift and her passive aggressive sob songs.

October

  • The Loch Ness Monster will be spotted and her existence will finally be proven. She can’t be bothered with the publicity and moves to a different Loch.
  • Jamie Oliver launches his own line of Turkey Twizzlers at Sainsbury’s. Sadly, they’re not as good as the original school dinner Twizzlers, obviously.

November

  • The BBC closes as a government owned TV broadcaster but is bought over by Sky.
  • We will discover that UFO’s only come to earthto stock up on TePe interdental brushes.

December

  • We predict that Princess Kate will announce her 4th pregnancy and by vomiting live on national TV.
  • Louis Theroux tears up the dance floor every week on Strictly Come Dancing with his ‘sick’ moves and wins the coveted disco ball trophy.defacto, predictions, 2018, funny, spoof

So there you have it, those are our team’s predictions for the year ahead. Whatever you’ve planned for 2018, we hope its a great year! We’d love to know some of your predictions for the year – let us know what you predict in the comments!

 

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